1 post tagged “banned clothing”
What clothing item do you wish could be banned?
Submitted by Mike E.
Y'know, there are a lot of "situational" bans. Like, if you are a 45 year old man with a receding hairline, and expanding gut, speedos probably should be banned from your use. But few "universal" bans. Here are a few:
1. white sneakers. It doesn't matter what statement you think you're making, you either just made 1 of 2 statements: either "I don't know squat about shoes, so I picked out the first pair I saw" or "I have shoes so dirty looking that you should be afraid, be very afraid to shake my hand"
2. Sneakers with a suit. I have a name for this: "sartorial holocaust". Because all of your good intentions just got killed by your fashion choice.
3. The middle-aged 'fro. Mr. Brady even did it: guy hits his forties, hair gets a little thin, so he gets a perm so the curls can hide the scalp. Women do it, too, and it just looks bad.
4.While I don't mind baggy clothes, per se, the 2 or more inches of boxer shorts with baggy clothes thing? Yeah, that doesn't even look good on good looking guys. As I tell my son: someday, you'll want to attract the opposite sex. On that day, you'll get clothes that fit.
5.Doo rags. This falls under the "if they only knew" category. See, in Prison, a Doo Rag was worn by Punks. Not mohawked types, no, I mean young men who get traded for cigarettes. I'm thinking that's not the statement you were after, is it?
6. Not so fashionable anymore, but this is a "banned forever" list: y'know the pierced nostril and ear combo chain thing? Yeah, that was used in hindu society to denote a dowry. It also was a handle, which is why a dowry had to be advertised in such a fashion. I'm thinking that's not the statement you were after, is it?
7. Pierced lips. Look, if you're gonna do it, do it right: several of em, all connected , so we never have to hear you lisp again.
8. Crocs and/or clogs* It just makes you look like you're concealing horribly deformed feet.
* special exception: if you are scandinavian, and are wearing the traditional wool and leather clogs like your ancestors wore, it's acceptable.
9.Sweat pants. Look, there's only one reason for them to exist: to have something to wear over shorts for that time when you're going to the gym in winter. Other than that, you look like you just got out of bed, and I'd much rather you just stayed there.
10.Special "My Dad" clause: the combination of a turtle neck, sweat pants, running shoes, fishing hat and a sport coat. Worn to visit the mall. Yeah, kinda puts it all in perspective, don't it?
