So, this might seem a bit too insular for a blog post, but bear with me.
This book is an "Oral Biography" of the punk rock singer Darby Crash, who died at 22, in the early 1980's. I happen to know some of the same people as Darby did, and met Jan Paul Beahm (the real person behind the persona) a few times. That's why I read this book. Just to see what some people i knew had to say.
First universal truth: EVERYONE has an agenda. Even if they don't know it. We all have some angle, some desire to see'our way' triumph, and because of this:
second universal truth: We all have faulty memories. We'll remember slights against us as more important than they are, and we'll remember our triumphs as bigger than they were.
So, i wasn't looking for accuracy. But, I got insight, and it was unexpected.
See, I said I knew these people, I didn't say they were friends to me. No, many of the people I knew that appear in these pages out-and-out hated me, and I can't say I was too fond of them. But the insight came from facts: almost universally, these people were fresh out of the ISP program at University High in Beverly Hills, California. At that program, in that school, the majority of the curriculum was based upon Scientology and E.S.T. I never bought into either of those, and think both are shams. Now that's just what I think, so don't get all offended if you really, really believe in that stuff. But, the reason why I don't like either one is that they seem to me to be a system of control. Brainwashing, perhaps, though I don't truly believe in such a thing. But, hearing that these kids were upper middle class kids raised in these philosophies goes a long way towards explaining why they and I never got along.
Another insight is how above the rest of us these people still hold themselves to be. See, that was their beef with people like me, and with me: they viewed us as lumpen proles. In their eyes we're capable oflittle more than animal functions. More than once they describe us as subhumans whostink and cannot be reasoned with, and ruin things for no better reason than it's "our nature'. It's all because of which neighborhood we were raised in, and our fashion choices. So, here's a little insight in return: if you view yourself as oh-so-above other people, and you mock them, don't be surprised when they rise up and strike back! If you say "Oh, I hate all redheads because they're stupid and violent", don't be too shocked when a redhead backhands you, and laughs. You want to know why your precious little club got torn down? It's because you built too many walls, and not enough doors.
Some of these people even espoused fascism, and still do! That included Darby Crash.But, here's the problem with that: just like the rabble strung Mussolini up, just like Ceauşescu had his followers turn rabid on him, in the end they'll turn on you. It's one of the things i like about humanity: eventually we'll turn on any cultof personality. Eventually the mob will have its way. Now, Darby committed suicide, but that was just a final attempt to assert control. That was him saying that he could still define his own life. He didn't realize what the rest of us rabble knew all along: either you find a place, or one will be assigned to you.
So, while this started as just some personal research, it did end up relaying another universal truth: Like it or not, we're ALL just another one of us.
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