To All the girls i've loved before...

nobody@vox.com(Maxvan) — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 11:24:53 -0800

Yes, any time i can reference Julio Iglesias, I think I should.

Anyway, I'm home sick, today. Third day in a row away from work: two days mostly at the Doctor's, now, a day at home. It's starting to make me introspective, and all that melancholy malarky.

So, I started thinking about people who aren't in my life. I even did a google search on a couple. As per usual, that got me wondering if they ever look for me. Yeah, that's a bit creepy: to think of somebody from my past spying on me. But, then I thought that there is a message I'd want to convey to them. Here's that message, and see if you can glean anything from it, as well.

Hello. I'm sure you have news, and that your life has some excitement in it. You might even want to share that news. Please don't. Yes, I still think about you from time to time, and chances are good that some of that thinking is positive. Heck, I might even still have some fondness for you, even if you never had any fondness for me. I'm funny like that. But, I don't want a relationship with you. Not right now, anyway. It's nothing personal, it's just the nature of life. It doesn't run backwards. We cannot go back, and there was probably a very good reason why we lost touch. I hope that your life is good, and full of things you want and need, so that you don't have any desire to talk to me. I'm hoping you're reading this with only mild curiousity, much like I might have seen your myspace, or twitter page with only a mild curiousity.

To satisfy that curiousity for you, let me say that I'm still very much like you remember me. If you remember me as a jerk, I'm probably still a jerk. If you remember me as a nice guy, I'm probably still that, too. I still have tendancies for dark, depressed moods, and angry, excitable moods, with plenty of silliness inbetween.

I still play my guitar. I might not play onstage, any more, but I still play my stupid little riffs, for my own amusement. I'm still passionate about politics, still lean libertarian left. I still find minutae fascinating. I still love to speculate about philosophy, and science and pop culture. I still wear my funny little fake chin in my goatee.

Some things might have changed. I have a bit more spending money that I might have had, but I still shop as thrifty as I can. Strange things still appeal to me. I'm older, and my health isn't as robust as it was when I was 30. But, I'm OK. I've got a few less hairs on top of my head, and a few of them that remain are grey. I'm a little better with the modern world. Heck, as I type on my blog, I'm playing a DVD in the background (The Fog of War).

I'm not alone. I've got a wonderful wife, whom I love very much, and a son who is smart and strong, and makes me proud, many times over. I've also got four cats, who make me laugh. I live in a little town, and have a few friends, here, and in other places. I work in Real Estate lending. I don't like my particular job, but I like the field. I drive a little Kia.

We've got furniture (mostly IKEA and vintage) and a four bedroom one bath house. We grow flowers and berries in the backyard. In general, we're like anybody else in America.

I hope that satisfies your curiousity. I hope all is well, and if I ever look you up, you're doing at least as well as me, but in your own way. Have a nice life.....

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To All the girls i've loved before...