41 posts tagged “qotd”

What is the worst date you've ever been on?

I've been on some spectacularly bad ones. See, it's a good thing that my wife chose me, and not the other way around, because left to my own devices, I end up dates like these:

1. So, I meet this girl in philosophy class. It's my tuesday and thursday 7 AM just to make me want to drop out of college and sell insurance class. I was trying to date somebody different from the kinds of psychos that I'd been dating so when this girl who looks like Ruth Buzzi expressed an interest I thought: Ok, she'll be sedate, and normal. Mid way through dinner she says "I really like you. you'll have to come see my act". "Your Act?" "Yeah, I dance most night over at Blazes" . Yes, she was a stripper. Check, please! (Hey, when you want apples and you get an orange....)

2. So, I met this girl at a pool hall. I was about half lit up, and losing at a game of 8 ball to a friend. I guess she liked my style, because this beautiful, long and tall dark haired girl starts talking at me. I say "You wanna get out of here?" She's only too happy. So, we're heading out for an impromptu date. We don't even make it to the restaurant when she sarts talking about her Ba Ba. And talking about her Ba Ba. Pretty soon, I get the impression that this Ba Ba is a friend of hers. Oh, no. Ba Ba, it turns out, could be my friend too, If I'd only believe. It's her guru. I think I'm going on a hot date, and she's thinking she's made a convert. Lovely.

3. So, I've been going out with the girl for awhile. Now, we've all got our problems, and I'm more than easy going about whatever quirks my friends might have. This one had more quirks than personality, though. Going out on dates was always a nightmare. Why/ Because she had a few too many rules. Food wasn't her friend, and everything had to be divisble by five, and mostly she wanted to talk about herself and how insane she was. Fair enough, I guess we're staying in, huh? But, here's the kicker: the date that ended the relationship? Was a date to see her therapist. Yup, i guess if you're part of the solution, you're part of the problem, too.

4. Sometimes, it ain't even their fault, though. Sometimes the date is just doomed. Like, I finally managed to ask out that insanely pretty spanish girl, and got her to say "Yes". i'm all excited, and we have a great time at dinner and dancing (yes, dancing!) during the course of which I have exactly two beers. This is well below my tolerance, so I think everything is fine. The Cop that pulled me over didn't think so. No, I wasn't taken in for driving under the influence (honestly, the last beer was more than an hour before I got behind the wheel, and I don't thinkthe cop really had a case. He just didn't want to be wrong, so he made us walk. I had to walk her all 15 miles home. Brought her there about dawn. Her father didn't like that, and wouldn't believe that all that happened was getting on the wrong side of Wyatt Twerp. Yeah, I never asked her out again. Too embarassed.

In the end, though, it all works out. The girl I'm married to now? Is prettier than all of them, and even staying in with heris better than some of the best evenings with these others.

Do you think real love can last throughout any distance, or will long distance end most relationships? 
Submitted by Miss Joy.

It depends.

At different times in most relationships I've had there has been some distance. In one case, the distance definitely helped to end the relationship. See, her plane was shot down, when she was flying back to see me. No, that's not a joke. In another case, I did what it took to close the distance. I soldmost everything, packed the rest into a broken Uhaul, and drove nearly 48 hours straight to literally fall on her doorstep. We're married, now. Sometimes she has to go places for her job. It's OK, so long as I know she's coming back, but because of my earlier experience, i gotta admit, it's tough, sometimes, to really know she's coming back.

Which one of your ancestors would you most like to talk to? 
Submitted by Kathy.

I don't know. Probably whoever it was that came up with my umentionable last name. Also my great grandfather. He caused a lot of damage.

But, mostly, I'd like to have one day with my maternal grandfather, where we could really talk. He had throat problems, and I didn't get to see him too often, and would love to have even one conversation with him, man to man.

How far from your last home do you live? Why did you move and are you glad you did? 
Submitted by Matthew 25.

We moved about an hour and a half away, and a whole world away. Glad doesn't begin to cover it.

Here's the thing: I think a lot of young people suffer under the delusion that what they really need is more company. More people around them at all times. I think they go to places like Myspace, Facebook, or Vox, even, looking for more company. They want to live in a tiny apartment in the city, so they can be around a lot of people, in the hopes that they'll have a more interesting life, with more action if there's more people.

Moving out to where we did was in defiance of all that. We're not hermits. We still have friends. I'm not entirely adverse to the universe. We've just learned how to savor a little less action, and a little more peacefulness. That means less people. Along the way, we've discovered that our lives are far more interesting, whether we share it, or not.

So, my advice? Move to the country. If you can't make it to the country, at least move to exurbia. But, hey, my advice isn't necessarily the advice you should take. But, it worked for me.

Which person from your past, who you've lost touch with, do you wonder about the most? 
Submitted by ancora impara.

Aw gee...There are so many....

I wonder about Sean Buchanon, a friend from elementary school. Last I saw of him, he was in a burger king uniform, just out of high school. That was 20 years ago.I wonder about Steve Burpo, a friend from early High School. Last I heard about him, he was recovering from an injury suffered as a paratrooper, but that was 15 years ago. I wonder about David House,a friend throughout high school. he was simultaneously the angriest, and smartest guy I think I've ever known. It's been more than 20 years. Heck, I wonder whatever happened to Anne Balmond, an ex-girlfriend. I wonder about Nirmeen Alireeza. She was smart beyond measure, and she got screwed by fate, because she was born Pakistani, and in a conservative family, so she was lucky to get to go to a few years of high school, before being married off to her cousin. I wonder about Karen Patterson, who I loved, but could never tell her. I honestly have no idea about where she is, or what she's doing, if anything.

The downside to being from "everywhere" is that people rush by like leaves floating on a creek.....

Where is the farthest you have ever been away from home? Did you get homesick? 
Submitted by Melissa.

Everybody's answering this one, and I've got to answer it sideways. I really don't mean to be obtuse, I just am this way.

The farthest away from "home" I've ever been is my life. And how could I be homesick for a place I haven't been?

Like I said, I know that seemslike a sideways answer, but really, I don't think I've got the same sense of "home" as other people. If home is where the heart is, I live somewhere around mars, I guess. If home is where you are comfortable, then I guess home is nowhere. If home is where you keep your stuff, then, it's brunswick, I guess. But, I just don't get the feelings other people get associated with places. People? Sure. But places? Not so much.

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What's the worst new television show to premiere this season?

I don't know. Really. I watch what I watch. I'm predictable, and in a comfortable rut and all the rest. I watch Wrestling, I watch "How I met Your Mother" and I watch "Good Eats". Sometimes, I watch other shows that my wife picks out. Sometimes that even includes new shows. Some of those new shows are even pretty good, like Burn Notice, and Pushing Daisies. But I don't really watch a lot of bad TV.

That having said, I gotta say that some of the drek that other folks seem to like turns my stomach. The Bionic woman? Please. I didn't like the Lindsay Wagner show, why would I like the update? Woman's Murder Club? I saw a print ad that said it all to me: it showed the lead character facing away, so the emphasis would be on her rear, but with her badge on her butt. Literally, her police badge on her butt. Well, there you go. No, thanks. I don't need Desperate Houswives do CSI. Heck the only thing to say for CSI was that between the production values and William Peterson's amazing acting, it was like watching a mini-movie. But, the worst garbage on TV has got to be the so-called "reality" shows on VH1. Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, I love New York, Love to Love you baby, What's love got to do with it? Utterly unredeemable crap. Useless detritus. I'd rather read my Starbuck's cup....

What sources do you count on for national news coverage?  How about international and local news?

I'm addicted to news. I read The Washington post, The Frederick News-Post, and The New York Times just about daily. I watch CNN, Headline News, MSNBC, and E! fairly often, but with no real pattern. I listen to WTOP and NPR two or three times daily. I also read assorted News periodicals like Time, Newsweek, Wired, and others, but far less often. I also comb the World wide web, especially Boing Boing. In general, I'm more connected than most.

When driving alone, what do you do?  Sing along to the radio?  Think about your day?  Something else?
Submitted by carapiccoladiva.  

A little of all of the above.

Typically, in the morning, I got up about 5 minutes late, so I'm scrambling to get to work. This makes me tense, so I'll sing extremely raunchy made-up songs about the other drivers, as I try to navigate commuter traffic.

Sometimes I'll sing along with a song on the radio, but my voice is terrible, so that's not very often.

Usually, I'm thinking about my day, yesterday, tomorrow, what I'm going to cook, and where did I leave that blue sock?

Sometimes, i'll get sucked into talk radio, and will argue with the people's opinions. I mean, NPR has gotten so very conservative!